Dwight-en someone's day

Be a pal. Have Dwight Schrute call someone to discuss their resume, werewolves or a truancy problem.


EDIT: For some reason, the linked page was removed from The Office's Season 2 DVD release site. Regardless, thanks to Catherine for Dwightening my day even when hers was going poorly.


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Saddam Hussein executed today.

Slate summarizes today's news on the subject. Among his last words was a simple "Moqtada," in sarcastic reply to guards taunting him by chanting the name of upstart Shiite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr, whose father and 2 brothers were gunned down in 1999 by men assumed to be working for Saddam.

Moqtada was the subject of Newsweek's November 28, 2006, cover story.

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Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

In honor of the coming premiere of the Sixth Season of 24, here are some of my favorite Jack Bauer Facts. And yes, I know these are a spin-off of the Chuck Norris Facts, but Jack Bauer flosses with Chuck Norris' tiny penis... and no, that doesn't make him gay. He just understands the importance of dental hygiene.

1. The only reason you're conscious right now is that Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.
   
2. Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
3. Jack once shot himself 10 times, just to prove 50 Cent is a bitch. He then proceeded to wrestle an alligator while talking to Chloe about schematics.
4. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
5. If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
6. On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.
7. Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
8. Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
   

*****

The illustration above was done by Antony Hare, a Canadian graphic artist. Check out his others. I especially like Christopher Wallace and Christina Ricci. He also imposes quite a Chairman of the Board feel upon George Clooney.

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DVD Release Countdown: The Departed

According to Amazon.com, the 2-disc Special Edition DVD of The Departed is set to be released on February 13, 2007. I saw it 3 times in the theater and 45 more days seems like an eternity. I'll be watching with my glass of cranberry juice at 5:01 p.m.

Amazon's information on this release's Special Features is sparse, but it looks like there will at least be some deleted scenes with introductions by Scorsese, a Boston mob history (probably focusing on Whitey Bulger), a Turner Classic Movies documentary on Scorsese and a featurette on Little Italy's influence on Scorsese. The front and back full-size shots of the cover found here indicate there probably won't be a feature-length commentary by Scorsese and/or any of the actors. If that comes about in the future, though, it will definitely be worth a re-up. Also, I'm more than a little disappointed that there appears to be no featurette on the adaptation process from Infernal Affairs. Again, not deterred in the least from picking it up on Day 1.

The poster to the right is one I'd never seen before. Amazon has it up on its Infernal Affairs page as an alternate DVD cover.

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That Damn Karzai!

Terrell Owens Blames Poor Game On Drew Bledsoe, Offensive Line, Hamid Karzai, NASA, Samsung

DALLAS—Troubled, underperforming Dallas wide receiver Terrell Owens lashed out in a press conference at the Cowboys practice facility...

Unfortunately, it looks like the jihad not only includes "Team America" but also "America's Team."

By the way, pretty cool node feature from the Onion.

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SNL Gift Guide

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Sleeper Cell awakes in its final episode

I'll be honest... I had a hard time suspending disbelief to the extent that a rogue agent could kidnap the wife of, locate and set up a slap-boxing appointment with this show's equivalent of Osama. But it sure made for one hell of a season finale. I loved the stripped-down Western "shootout on the streets of a ghost town" ending incongruously set in the Yemeni desert. It reinforces that even with all the remote bomb detonations, long-range missile GPS-coordinate targeting and SWAT snipers involved in the war on terror, a good, old-fashioned handgun duel mixed with some savage hand-to-hand uncomplicates things in a good way. Also, this ending sets up a third season nicely. Farik gets away by the hairs on his chinny-chin-chin (rescued by a young, untested and sadistic underling who had been taunting Darwyn minutes earlier) and a wounded Darwyn is sure to be rescued by the undercover who provided him the pistol.

I guess my only real complaint is that the cell members were less interesting this year than last. The writers seemed to shorthand their development somewhat by making Salid a homosexual and having Mina raped. I was unaware of Thekla Reuten before, and she impressed me in flashes, but they let her tell too much of her own backstory to make me care about the loss of her husband or her being forced into prostitution. Her husband's death would have made a good flashback (and simultaneously served to rescue us from the Sean Astin lookalike who was breaking Darwyn's balls all season).

All in all, though, a good showing on the shoulders of Michael Ealy and Oded Fehr. I'll definitely tune in again. And I loved the 8 episodes in 8 days format. I didn't watch Season One in real time, so I guess I never knew this series aired that way. The format pretty closely approximates the benefit of watching a TV series on DVD: the cliffhanger endings are still fresh when you begin the next installment.

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The Wire Season 4 Finale

I went in to this season excited but somewhat skeptical. The skepticism was die in part to the featurette on the Season 3 DVDs saying 4 would revolve around the failings of the school system. It could have also been that I was coping with my grief over the death of Stringer Bell by proclaiming that "anyone stupid enough to kill the Barksdale crew's 'Chairman of the Board' couldn't have anything else to say worth listening to." Or maybe it was lingering resentment toward HBO in general for the epic letdown of The Sopranos this season. True cause aside, I had my doubts. But I was very surprised at how much I cared about the Fayetteville Mafia Crew by the time school passed out "Final Grades" this past Sunday.

A few quick hits on Season 4 -

1. Randy, Michael, DuQuan and Namond all ended up in some parallel universe that was the exact opposite of the place where they began. Namond, the biggest asshole bully of the bunch turned out to be a cowardly momma's boy who received the ultimate undeserved grace from the unlikely allies of Wee Bey and Bunny Colvin. Randy, the mannered, entrepreneurial and most cared-for of the corner boys ended up in a group home being beaten. DuQuan, the homeless and penniless but smart and most caring member of the crew ended up slangin' on the corner. Finally, Michael, the reserved, principled, protective older brother of the crew who once refused $200 from Marlo for school clothes closed the season living in a Stanfield-financed apartment, killing drug dealer at Marlo's request and being awarded Bodie's corner.
2. Bodie, Bodie, Bodie... I really hoped he would stick around and be Marlo's downfall. Slim Charles loses cool points for leaving him unprotected like that.
3. There is NO WAY Omar can survive stealing from the co-op and then selling their product back to them like that. If Deniro couldn't pull it off in Heat, Omar can't either. He goes next season... painfully. Nice re-up of 10% of the difference by Prop Joe by telling Marlo they were buying it back for 30 cents on the dollar when in fact Omar's offer was 20.
   
4. And Marlo? He has no clue what he's done putting a tail on Spiros. If Paul Ben-Victor comes back next season to restore order to the West Side, it may be the best season yet. At the very least we know someone will be losing their hands and feet.
   

NOTE TO "THE SOPRANOS": This is the consistency with which a truly great show operates. Get back to it.

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The (Rich) People's Elbow

Vegas casino magnate Steve Wynn accidentally put his elbow through Picasso's "Le Reve" for which he had just inked a $139,000,000.00 deal. Apparently he forgot to have his assistant wrap it in banded hundred stacks for protection.

*****

I originally read this story on Rob Larsen's blog at Drunkenfist.com which, incidentally, is where I learned most of what I know about Hong Kong cinema.

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Random iPod Five Star Song

Half a World Away

One of my favorites since junior high, I'm surprised I haven't heard this song playing in a movie sequence where the protagonist is shown reeling from some calamitous event and seems to be floating down a hall or a crowded metropolitan street (but is actually on a piece of plywood with roller skates attached). The steady chord progression of the organ matches Stipe's plaintive vocals which rhythmically crest and crash, crest and crash. Not in large waves, but each with enough force to frog you in the chest a little.

Sample it at Amazon or iTunes.

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