I honestly can't belive that I forgot how much ass this movie kicks! Marky Mark, Danny Ocean and Ice Crube team up to bring us the infamous Iraqi ass-map, C4-strapped Nerf footballs, bulls stepping on land mines, Jamie Kennedy getting pantsed and a soundtrack that includes Public Enemy... I mean, come on!?! I did almost turn it off about 10 minutes in when it cuts to Daniel Ocean's first big scene and it looks like he's breaking Joan Cusack off a chunk. HOWEVER, it turned out to be that younger chick who is almost equally as annoying, but was not, in fact, Joan Cusack. IMDB says the young doppleganger's name is Judy Greer. If you tend to watch movies for enjoyment purposes, like I do, avoid both like the plague.
As detestable as Joan Cusack is, it's almost impossible to comprehend the fact that she's Martin Blank's sister. Grosse Pointe Blank may be the only movie I've ever not turned off as soon as her screeching, beak-mouthed, high-waisted ass hit the screen. Irrefutable proof that the combination of Minnie Driver and a stout 80's soundtrack could turn jumper-cables-to-the-satchel torture into a crawfish boil... and yes, I realize that only works if you like crawfish. I do like crawfish, so it's funny to me. And that's pretty much the point of this whole blog deal, right? To amuse yourself?
Best line of Three Kings? "Aww man... I didn't join the Army to pull to pull paper out of people's asses." - PFC Conrad Vig
If you don't know, now you know...
